Kelly Field

A Gestalt perspective on polyamory, monogamy and the relational field. TL;DR   We’ve built a model of love where one person is supposed to be our entire emotional world—it’s breaking under the pressure of modern life. Polyamory isn’t just about sex; for many, it’s an attempt to find honesty, connection, and more sustainable ways of relating. Expanding beyond the couple can redistribute intimacy and support but it also creates new tensions and demands. The real issue isn’t how many people you...

The Quiet Double Standard Around Women’s Boundaries TL;DR Women’s boundaries are often treated differently to men’s.When men say no, it’s seen as autonomy.When women say no, it’s more likely to be experienced as rejection — and sometimes punished. This isn’t just cultural. It’s relational.Boundaries don’t create problems. They reveal them. I’ve created a small quiz under this essay about working with “no.” Whether you’re the one setting a boundary, or the one hearing it, you can use the...

How Gestalt therapy explains why we became a culture of fakes — and what it actually takes to be real The Crisis Everyone Is Performing. Everyone Knows It. Kim Kardashian built a billion-dollar empire on the promise of total transparency — every argument, every breakdown, every unglamorous moment, broadcast. And yet in 2022 she told a journalist the secret to life is "getting up and working out." We watched her cry on camera for twenty years and still have no idea who she actually is. That's...