Kelly Field

The Quiet Double Standard Around Women’s Boundaries TL;DR Women’s boundaries are often treated differently to men’s.When men say no, it’s seen as autonomy.When women say no, it’s more likely to be experienced as rejection — and sometimes punished. This isn’t just cultural. It’s relational.Boundaries don’t create problems. They reveal them. I’ve created a small quiz under this essay about working with “no.” Whether you’re the one setting a boundary, or the one hearing it, you can use the...

How Gestalt therapy explains why we became a culture of fakes — and what it actually takes to be real The Crisis Everyone Is Performing. Everyone Knows It. Kim Kardashian built a billion-dollar empire on the promise of total transparency — every argument, every breakdown, every unglamorous moment, broadcast. And yet in 2022 she told a journalist the secret to life is "getting up and working out." We watched her cry on camera for twenty years and still have no idea who she actually is. That's...

TL;DR? Under this essay I’ve created a checklist for couples to test whether you’re quiet quitting your relationship. Check it out. In November of last year, Monica Corcoran Harel wrote an insightful and thought-provoking essay in The Cut —one that exposed the phenomenon of women “checking out” of their marriages. I read compelling stories, studies, and convincing explanations for why women are deciding to “quiet quit” their marriages. But as a Gestalt therapist—one who works with couples in...