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The Double Standard of No
The Quiet Double Standard Around Women’s Boundaries TL;DR Women’s boundaries are often treated differently to men’s.When men say no, it’s seen as autonomy.When women say no, it’s more likely to be experienced as rejection — and sometimes punished. This isn’t just cultural. It’s relational.Boundaries don’t create problems. They reveal them. I’ve created a small quiz under this essay about working with “no.” Whether you’re the one setting a boundary, or the one hearing it, you
Kelly Field
1 day ago5 min read


You are not your Filter
How Gestalt therapy explains why we became a culture of fakes — and what it actually takes to be real The Crisis Everyone Is Performing. Everyone Knows It. Kim Kardashian built a billion-dollar empire on the promise of total transparency — every argument, every breakdown, every unglamorous moment, broadcast. And yet in 2022 she told a journalist the secret to life is "getting up and working out." We watched her cry on camera for twenty years and still have no idea who she act
Kelly Field
Mar 89 min read


Still Here, Already Gone: Quiet Quitting in Intimate Relationships
TL;DR? Under this essay I’ve created a checklist for couples to test whether you’re quiet quitting your relationship. Check it out. In November of last year, Monica Corcoran Harel wrote an insightful and thought-provoking essay in The Cut —one that exposed the phenomenon of women “checking out” of their marriages. I read compelling stories, studies, and convincing explanations for why women are deciding to “quiet quit” their marriages. But as a Gestalt therapist—one who works
Kelly Field
Feb 127 min read


Here we go Again
My Complicated Relationship with The End. Sex and The City (2003) As the year winds down — that strange stretch of time where everything feels both too full and not quite finished — I’ve been thinking a lot about endings. Not the dramatic, cinematic ones, but the quiet, ordinary endings we avoid, postpone, or slip out of sideways. Maybe it’s the calendar turning over, or the collective instinct to “wrap things up,” but endings feel especially loud right now. The High of Hello
Kelly Field
Dec 14, 20256 min read


Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing?
What a TikTok trend reveals about patriarchy, polarities and the mess of modern love. Maybe the embarrassing boyfriend trend isn’t about him at all. There’s been a lot of chatter online, debating on whether having a boyfriend is embarrassing now. I read the Chante Joseph’s viral piece in British Vogue that started it all and, as a therapist, I had some thoughts. It’s tempting to dismiss this as another silly internet fad. But field phenomena always tell a deeper story. Tre
Kelly Field
Nov 10, 20257 min read


When the Light Fades
Understanding and Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Seasonal affective disorder As the days grow shorter and the nights stretch longer, many of us feel the shift. For some, it’s just a passing dip in energy. For others, it’s something more profound — a heaviness that settles in the body and mind. This can feel at odds with the season’s themes, especially as we come on to Christmas and the New Year. Right now, you can see influencers discussing their “winter arc,”
Kelly Field
Oct 16, 20254 min read


Let It All Go: Why It’s Okay to Yawn, Burp, and Fart in TherapyNo masks.
No manners. Just messy, human truth. Sometimes healing looks less like perfection and more like being your real, messy self—just ask...
Kelly Field
Sep 20, 20257 min read


What’s Your Money Really Buying? Spoiler: it’s probably not just groceries.
Money. It may sit neatly in our wallets or flash as digits on a screen, but the way we relate to it is rarely tidy. For many of us, money...
Kelly Field
Jul 27, 20253 min read


I’ve Lied in Therapy Too. Here’s What It Taught Me About Truth.
In my last post, I talked about lying in therapy. I wrote from the perspective of a therapist navigating the new culture we live in,...
Kelly Field
Jul 19, 20253 min read


Lying on the Couch: Post Truth Culture, Protection, and Shadow Gestalt
Why do people lie in therapy and how can we get to the truth? Photo by Baran Lotfollahi on Unsplash Over the past decade, there has been...
Kelly Field
Jun 27, 20254 min read


Burning Down the House: A Field Guide to Fighting Fair
Conflict doesn't have to be destructive. Learn how to fight fair, connect deeper, and break old patterns—with insights from Gestalt therapy and real-life cases.
Kelly Field
Jun 2, 20256 min read


This Hurts...This Hurts...This Bloody Hurts
Sometimes pain isn’t just physical — it’s a full-blown existential crisis in a gum socket. Wisdom teeth are the rebellious teenagers of...
Kelly Field
May 1, 20256 min read


Fuck Comfort, Embrace Change
Spring doesn’t play it safe. Neither should you. Photo by Rick L on Unsplash Spring doesn’t ask for permission. It erupts. It forces...
Kelly Field
Apr 12, 20254 min read


Holy Hell
A Guide to Surviving Your Family During Spring’s Religious Holidays Photo by Tom Watkins on Unsplash We’re in the spring holiday season,...
Kelly Field
Mar 29, 20256 min read


I Let a Client See Me Cry. Here’s What I Learned... Help! I'm a Therapist in a Sick, Sad World.
As a therapist, I’ve kept my emotions guarded, to create a sanctuary for my clients. But these past few months, something has shifted.
Kelly Field
Feb 28, 20257 min read


The Connection Prescription
Could your most difficult relationships actually be hiding important benefits for your self-growth? Valentine’s day this year has got me...
Kelly Field
Feb 1, 20255 min read


New Year, New You
Unlock Your Creative Spark with the Power of Gestalt Therapy The New Year is a perfect time to reflect on goals. One of mine is...
Kelly Field
Jan 1, 20254 min read


We need to talk...
"Boundaries," "trauma," "gaslighting" — These are just a few illustrations of what we commonly refer to as "therapy speak"
Kelly Field
Sep 3, 20233 min read
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